Generic Academia Website



I am involved in a gazillion projects, all of which are going to change the world or at least will help explain it a lot better.

No Plume

There is no such thing as mantle plumes. I once saw a cloud shaped like a dragon in the vicinity of a volcano. This clearly indicates that phenomena described by mantle plumes and hot spots are caused by dragons. Plate tectonics can easily be explained by upside down unicorns that use the lower side of the oceanic crust as as treadmills.

Flow Chart

I am involved in a massive effort to create a universal flow chart referencing every activity in known reality. The final product will be linked to scientific journal databases and other news outlets to dynamically update and readjust itself. We use a combination of approaches including but not limited to neural networks, genetic algorithms, cloud computing, and random integer generation.


A side project of mine evolves around the idea of writing a Ph.D. thesis. I welcome motivated undergraduates willing to spent most of their time in my lab to push this effort forward. For this project I will randomly change objectives such that effective work is impossible. Lots of frustration and a beer on Friday's for the grown ups are guaranteed.


I teach courses. You should take them.


Basically all the information on this website again, condensed down to the mere essentials.


How come you still need to look at this list; you should have read every single of my many papers by now.